CAST: auto-responder/Kankri, Latula/Mituna; Lil Seb, Aimless Renegade
WORD COUNT: 45261
ADDITIONAL TAGS: incomplete, canon divergent AU, found family, dystopia, robots, mental illness, violence, part two of a series
SUMMARY: In which AR discovers that kidnapping rarely solves more problems than it creates, Mituna breaks out of a lab (with some help), and Seb continues to take good care of his Bro.
EXCERPT: Seb’s unmoved. “We’re helping Sawtooth.”
You eye the back of his head with disfavor. “Hm. I suppose you could be the mute hero character. I don’t know what that makes me. I guess I’m the talky support character that everybody dislikes just because he points outs the obvious.” Whoops, did you get a little pointed there? Surely not.
Ouch. Kid knows just where to land a blow. “Do you want a cookie? Or, oh, I know.” Your smirk turns evil. “How about a cake?”
He does kick you again, and you shove him on the shoulder, and he jabs his elbow low into your side, and somehow, even though nothing has been accomplished, everything is marginally better.
it’s kind of funny to think of the prevalent fanon in fandom of Dave being actually cool and suave and laid-back-but-dominant and John being giggly and awkward and shy
when the first pesterlog ever
— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:13 —
TG: hey so what sort of insane loot did you rake in today EB: i got a little monsters poster, it’s so awesome. i’m going to watch it again today, the applejuice scene was so funny. TG: oh hell that is such a coincidence i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here EB: ok thats fine, but i just have one question and then a word of caution. have you ever seen a movie called little monsters starring howie mandel and fred savage? TG: but TG: the seal on the bottle is unbroken TG: are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory EB: all im saying is don’t you think monster howie mandel has the power to do something as simple as reseal a bottle? EB: try using your brain numbnuts.
you have John trolling the hell out of Dave about perhaps drinking piss and Dave starting to doubt himself and his unopened bottle of ambrosia apple juice for no reason except that John said some movie character dude might have done it by magic.
Later on he will go from talking himself into admiring his rad Bro’s rad puppets to finding them freaky and creepnasty as fuck because John offhandedly went “uh NOPE your bro is SO LAME and those puppets wow no”
if there’s a dominant personality who sets the tone in the relationship it’s definitely John. XD Poor Dave is always scrambling for his approval and interest.
edit: SAME PESTERLOG
TG: but i dont care im not going to play it or anything the game sounds boring TG: did you see how it got slammed in game bro???? EB: game bro is a joke and we both know it. TG: yeah
There’s a reason the Ebon Empire stopped trying to make cybernetically enhanced trolls. They all went insane. ——- In which AR discovers that kidnapping rarely solves more problems than it creates, Mituna breaks out of a lab (with some help), and Seb continues to take good care of his Bro.
Excerpt: “…Did you just call me condescending. Is that seriously a thing you did.”
You learn three things about Kankri Vantas by watching him sunrunning.
He’s good at this, movements focused and athletic in a way you hadn’t expected. He hugs the shadows and darts across patches of light, adapting his path on the fly to take full advantage of cover without ever once stopping or falling behind. You can’t exactly call it graceful, but there’s an efficiency and forethought of movement that reminds you of parkour.
He’s quiet, which is something else you weren’t expecting. Silent, actually, which is so surreal your eyes keep going back to him just to check that he’s still with you.
really i think the biggest reason i haven’t poked at crash standing in a while is that my stories tend to get more actionny as they go, and with byrdfic while there is some physical conflict most of the conflict is interpersonal between friends or entirely inside byrd’s psyche.
AND THEN I HAD AN ACTION SCENE with the one where they run from the cops!!!! which was high stakes and OMG!!! action!!! reaction!! VICTORY!!!!
and then a whee everyone is safe now and let’s be cute and friendly in the sun and slather sunscreen on everyone prrrrr. it pinged me as… anticlimatic? epiloguey? like ok everything’s good now what else is left, when it’s NOT like that at all, byrd’s personal issues are still RIGHT here, the “yeah im all better now haha that was badass whee” is nice but not a magical fix-all, and there’s still the secondary plotlines about gamzee<>karkat and dave<3terezi to solve, k.
like intellectually i knew all the plot threads were nowhere near tied off neatly, but i still felt like ok this was the finale, because what else is left, talking and exploring the boat for another month??? BORING. ok also letting byrd and kat get their mack on sorry guys it’s too cute to hold my attention all on its lonesome i am a bad person.
you know what, i do have a collection of scenes and stages in byrd’s development i want to hit but it’s not like i have a super detailed plan for this fic, so I might as well shake things up, and weave the relationship things in the cracks. >:D
i was rereading those fics that go between awake at night and crash standing and being all “huh Dadbert kinda talks/types differently in this fic than he turned out to speak in canon, huh.” It’s not entirely a matter of uppercases/lowercases difference, hey’re both extremely formal and polite, but Crockpop actually does say “CANNOT CONDONE THIS” in matters of dapper clothes and the way I wrote him, Dadbert would be somewhat less direct in matters of judging others. Also considering Crocker’s had one pesterlog and he managed three whole lines in it no mater how everyone seems to hang onto his every word, it’s not that the chatroom was busy/he was hanging back because he didn’t feel he could speak, more that he’s naturally terser.
then i was like “nope not rewriting it” then i was like hey the only one we’ve seen type in canon was dad crocker, dad egbert didn’t get to post. so i might as well run with it in this ‘verse.
and now of course i want to write chatlog/interaction for the two of them while on the cruise ship, because that kind of implies in matters of characterization no matter what we’ve seen (not a lot) they’re actually somewhat different???
also maybe i could get Mom and Bro in on the action. see what they think/do while the kids play. Hmm.
Are you going to be continuing Covalent Bonds??? its one of my favorite fic type things ever c:
I have more fics planned and in progress. Whether any gets written enough for posting is anyone’s guess. There might be more soon, there might never be any more. I have no idea. This is not a high-priority ‘verse.
bt!Karkat I noticed in your wet dream that the humans had more troll-like bulges. What do you think of human bulges as they are?
BT!Karkat: Great Ancestors of fuck. I can’t even scratch my ass cheeks without it being noticed, can’t I even get some privacy for my dreams?!
Human bulges look awkward and floppy at rest, stop. The weirdass dangly folds baffle me completely, stop. I have no clue what they behave like during more active performances, stop. No conclusion can be reached. Stop and fuck off. Over.
(The other day I got to see an informative fauna video about some animals that look to be in humankind’s general taxon, and they had impudently protuberant asses, brightly colored. It felt like hemorrhoids bad enough to act as a cushion and-or a massive case of anal prolapse. Seeing obviously important organs dangle out here gives me a bit of the same feeling of shouldn’t that be a) less swollen and b) inside you?)
:( This made me sadface for you so I opened my file back up and finished the chapter I was working on. Still needs beta but should be up tomorrow or next day? Not actually helpful tonight whoops. :\ Hope you feel better soon.
BT!Karkat: Wow. Vriska is awful. Let me guess, even if she does go quietly, it'll only be a matter of time until an embittered victim of her constant hoofbeastshit suffocates her in her recuperacoon with a plastic bag?
BT!Karkat: Vriska is Vriska and will never be anything other than Vriska. Hoping for anything to change at this point is the definition of insanity. It’s pretty tragic, really, considering her Vriskahood involves the randomly accessed ability to assess herself fairly, but not the ability to do anything about it.
Also the blueblood quarters have pretty good locks, so good luck even getting at her recuperacoon, much less inside it. If she were in a lowblood dorm it might be different, but then again she might have a lot of people too cowed to try it and others waiting on her to deliver something she owes them or that they personally need, and they’d be around to see you trying it.
(It’s apparently easier to kill someone if you know how to mess with their recuperacoon, if less personally satisfying, I guess. Fuck with the sopor concentration and oxygen levels, whoops. Then again it’d still take time to work and someone might come and see why they’re not up yet before they’ve gotten any worse off than groggy and migrainous.)
Anyways if you don’t expect anything out of her that she isn’t equipped to give, she’s as reliable as death by drone and taxes. I’m used to her enough by now that it’d be weird if someone did manage to off her.
BT!Karkat: How did you luck out in not getting culled by HIC? Was there a Culling by horrible torture that was not? Did you accidentally do an acrobatic pirouette off sanity and pap her? Or could she just not give a shit?
BT!Karkat: Far as I know, Her Imperious Condescension, may she reign in terror and glory till the death of the universe, has no clue I exist, and no reason to be clued in because seriously now, I don’t actually think abhorrence and importance have any kind of correlation. (Unless we’re talking about your lusus’ face, yeah, I went there, fuck you.) Or she might have seen a footnote in some actually important report and not given the smallest wet fart, never mind a whole shit. I’m not enough of a panshaken shittard to walk up to her and ask which one it is.
BT!Karkat: Have you had any pale or flushed come-ons, or many other ash or black outside Equius or that two dum-dums whose names elude me? Does being perpetually cranky make you a pale magnet? Does dating a distant highblood make you tasty delicious forbidden fruit?
BT!Karkat: I’ve had “Hey I have a kink for getting secret thrills via slumming it and you’re the ultimate case of slumming it there will ever exist” and-or “I’m too much of a coward to hump a drone but fucking you is still the next best forbidden thing to fucking in one of Her Condescension’s speeding shuttles as we navigate a field of asteroids” come ons.
They both end in “but tomorrow we’ll both pretend the other one doesn’t exist while I giggle about your performance with my real quadrants.” It’s an everyday wonder I don’t make myself walk bowlegged from all that bulge I could be riding, woowee.
Being perpetually cranky and never culling a bitch for it makes me “that cranky little asshole I can’t silence for cause of insane juggalo diamond.”
Speaking of your fellow shipmates, BT!Karkat, are there any trolls on the ship you've ever...occupied yourself to thoughts of?
BTKat: Say it plainly, now, papped myself or fondled my globes over.
Yeah, sure. A few. I’m a young adult in the full bloom of myblah di fucking blah, lock me up with the ugliest bastards in the whole Fleet for half a sweep and I’d find something to get hot and bothered about eventually. Even if it’s just “their great/terrible personality, no really I swear it’s here I didn’t just invent it to soothe my yearning to explain away such a useless existence.”
None I made or would have ever made overtures toward, though.
Okay no there was the one time but the attempt gruesomely exploded in my face and then they died a completely non-metaphorical death that my failure stopped me preventing, so. Decision confirmed. Keep it in your head/pants/assorted anatomy, Vantas.
He sneaks through the corridor, to the edge of the door to the pool area — the door is saloon style, swinging, and when he crouches low against the wall — his heart is crawling up his throat, beating a drum in his temples — he can look through the space underneath.
Half in the wading area, someone is fighting to drag themselves out. Their nails slide on the tiles, catch in the gouts and yank painfully free, they’re whimpering, no, please, I’m sorry, please. On top of them is —
It looks like a person. In the dim light, it does.
It’s splattered with dark wetness, there are dark clouds in the water and its teeth are —
”Jesucristo!" The head of the mop misses the assailant on the first pass — he was facing them, it saw him coming — he swings again, two-handed grip. He’s screaming. "Back off! Back the fuck off! Padre nuestro que estás en los cielos—"
Where’s his cross, where’s his fucking cross, but he needs both hands for the mop, it’s retreating into the pool out of mop reach, it’s watching him, are its eyes black all the way through oh fucking hell, he hates vampires so much, hates them, they’re gross, they’re wrong—
"Run!" he screams at the victim, and then he glances down and huh, wow, the asshole has long since clambered out of the pool and is running for the doors and.
Oh. Shit. He’s alone.
That motherfucker actually ran for it. JesúsMaríaJosé. He knew he told him to but that son of a bitch could have hesitated!
it’s the one urban fantasy thing that’s still wayyyy visibly based on Meenah and Karkat. :-/ i thought if i gave them other names and descs. that they’d evolve into their own people faster, but i didn’t write far enough for that to happen yet, i don’t think.
i dunno if i’ll continue it but the first scene was a ton of fun to write, so i’m posting it anyways.
Let’s talk about two South Korean girls named Pang So-Yi and An Yuna. They’re competitive fencers and Olympic hopefuls. Very young, but very very good. Both of them. And very bitter rivals. (They’re from different sides of the mountain. It’s just one of those things.)
Anyway, it comes down to the two of them in a qualifying match for the Olympic team with one slot left. And So-yi has a few points on Yuna - when the sirens go off…
A kaiju is coming. A fast one. As the arena clears in a panic, So-yi slips and smacks her head on the floor, blacking out.
Outside, at some point in all the confusion, Yuna realizes So-yi is still in the arena. The waterfront arena. Her stunned friends try to hold her back, but she breaks away from them and runs against the tide of evacuees funneling to the shelters.
The first kaiju Yuna has ever seen in her life is rising up from the water ahead like a mountain, and she’s running towards it, if you can believe that, running towards it and the almost empty arena in its path — to save a girl who twenty minutes ago she would’ve sworn to you she hated. Sometimes the best part of you just kinda wakes up like that.
It will be a long, hard night. But they’ll live.
And now you have met the pilots of Nova Hyperion. Two of the fifty-plus rangers in the Pacific Rim universe.
Descriptions: They’re in their late teens by the time they’re assigned a Jaeger. So-yi has a round face and short, straight, very closely cropped hair. Of the two, she’s more inclined to be grinning. Yuna is a bit more serious, a bit lighter-skinned, and shaved bald (because, well, she has the skull for it).
Anyway, I offer you this 10,000 follower thank you gift (with the caveat that it’s a special occasion so please don’t ask me for similarly lengthy posts on any other teams). Thank you for everything! Stay in the drift!
WIP -ofic: urban fantasy silliness that i probably won’t continue, but the scene was fun (2 620 words) -Covalent ‘verse: outside POV: Telescopium (1 748 words) -sunlightverse: mystery dave/dirk pesterlog (1 045 words) -sunlightverse: untitled (Varos&Minna) (3 539 words) -Pale Krakens: pale porno (Dave&Bro&Karkat pale porning, hawwwwwt) (2 856 words) -Midnight on the Demon Patrol chapter 19 (2 189 words) -two starts to ficlets that didn’t go anywhere (305 words) -Gundam Wing: Lone Wolf and Pilot (1 393 words)
yakuza AU where Porrim/Dolorosa is a smallish but proud and renowned family’s head (the tattoos XD) and Kanaya her blood daughter and Kankri/Signless her adopted son who’s a teacher but he’s older than Kanaya and her people are like ok who should lead after her and really the only one who’s into the Grand Tradition and the Proud Lifestyle is Karkat, Signless’s kid. (but he’d still secretly like a nicer, cleaner way of doing things, and no drugs and cruel things like that k)
Signless is mildly desperate about that. why u no wanna be normal son. and kanaya is like no i want to do design i mean i guess i’d get to redesign our people’s uniforns but… BUT. (she is still more than ready to pop a cap in anyone’s ass if pushed, but it’s such a hassle damn it!)
Cronus/Dualscar is this upstart dude in Meenah/Condie’s huge family who’s trying to curry favor/force his way to the top and he’s aiming to do it via Porrim’s territory. yeah no fuck you. Mindfang is a fence and/or a cat burglar, though it’d be fun enough if she were a dirty cop and her partner was Redglare but that’s more of a dynamic for Vriska and Terezi and if we keep them the same age as their crew they couldn’t be that yet. Maybe Terezi is trying to talk Vriska into forsaking her mother’s criminal ways and becoming a cop alongside her…
Kanaya is way into this european or maybe south african idk exchange student/immigrant Rose and wants to be normal for her oh lord plz, her twin brother Dave keeps being a fearless douche to Karkat who’s probably like doki doki let me punch you in the face eee because everyone in their class knowns they have yakuza connections and is terrified of crossing them, never mind a normal conversation.
(it could be any pairing really, i just like davekat k)
(it possibly turns out Mom and Bro are here to Do Business. Bro is Mom’s bodyguard/enforcer. The real head of their family is the (possibly italian??) matriarch Jane Crocker, though; her firstborn heir is officially John but he’s living a normal life so far and has never questioned where the money came from. He thinks his dad is an office worker. ha ha ha. Jade knows but she’s kind of ignoring it so far, though she loves the gun handling and the sniper lessons.)
Double-dealings and fast-paced betrayals and tense politically-charged ceremonies and stuff ensue.
i just want them in kimono and old japanese style houses and with peons going YOUNG MASTER at karkat while signless groans quietly and people getting tattooed really. *shallow and proud*
ok i just need to find a fic and get to work. i’ve been waffling for hours over which one i want to work on but argh every single one of them has something that makes them UNSUITABLE.
if i could just SIT DOWN and TYPE i know i could totally do a nano equivalent for this month’s word count!! it’s only 11K words more! in two days, that’s EASY ok no it’s not but i’ve done it before self come on just get started.
i don’t want to just write ficlets for the threesome prompts left over, they’d just be a lot of easy variations on the same old themes. :( come on self, WIPs or nothing.